i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
God I need to hump something, right now.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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