just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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