I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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