He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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