i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
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My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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