i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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