Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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