Sry I called you an 8
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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