You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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