Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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