I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize