And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize