I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I got inside last night via doggy door
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize