I heard we made out
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize