I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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