It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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