just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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