A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize