If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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