True but thats because hes a fetus.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize