I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
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He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Less talking, more tequila
What a dumb baby whore.
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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