Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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