went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
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I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
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Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
send nudes
from the living room?
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