we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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