Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dick very happy bro
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize