you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize