If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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