he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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