I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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