I think I just saw someone hide a body.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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