kristin has been a bad kristin
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
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I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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