What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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