sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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