I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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