and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize