If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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