You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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