Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize