Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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