There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize