NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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