i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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