U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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