What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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