so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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