i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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