i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
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someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
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That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
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