we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Your cock deserves a montage
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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