I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
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He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
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I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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