spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
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You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
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i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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